World champ Barton Lynch on being outed as a “commie”, living on “stolen land” and the wild viral success of his Karl Marx beard “It was the most thoughtful and deliberate conversation I’ve ever had!”

Rarely do I get as much pleasure as when the telephone connects to the 1988 world champion Barton Lynch, who cinched his title at perfect eight-to-twelve-foot Pipeline but is now more famous for his oratorical gymkhanas on WSL broadcasts.

A few days ago, BeachGrit outed Barton as a filthy communist bastard,  which you can read here, and which was swiftly refuted, here. 

A very good time to pick up the telephone, I figured.

And, reader, I do wish this was a video broadcast, just so you could see the way his three-month beard twitches and his body quivers with excitement when points are made.

You may not always, or ever, agree with Barton, but he makes for great company.

And, it’s a pantomime I was thrilled to be a part of. – Derek Rielly